A good friend of mine has recently become a real downer. She used to be fun and positive. Lately she has been snappish and sulky. Her beautiful smile is rarer these days. Her poor kids get yelled at more often, and she has really been letting herself go. She hasn't been to the gym in weeks. Her roots are grown out at least 2 inches and she desperately needs a haircut. How can I help pull her out of this slump? I'm sure a day of pampering at the beauty salon and a new outfit would help boost her confidence, but I think she really needs a more long term solution. Please help!
Sincerely,
Friend of CFM (Cranky Frumpster Mom)
***On the happier side of my life . . . here's my 3 year old goofball. Later when he was watching this video he told me he was being Po (from Kung Fu Panda) and was fighting Tai Lon (the bad guy from Kung Fu Panda).
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
18 comments:
Do the spa day and new outfit to give you an initial boost. Then you saw my new solution to my slump. What did you do before kids that made you happy and fulfilled? For me it was school, which I obviously can't do again. So I adapted what I used to do into something I can do now.
Dear Friend of CFM,
It sounds like your friend may have clinical depression. It is difficult to come out of it and may be a slow, long process but it's good. The problem with depression is that you don't want to do anything or see anyone, but that's exactly what helps--doing things and being with friends! Also, a good cry or two to someone that will listen is helpful. Encourage her to write out her feelings, try to make a goal or two to work towards (something manageable), definitely do a pampering day, and try to find the root of the problem. If there really is no problem to pinpoint other than life in general, she may want to consider the possibility of anti-depressants. I took them for several years and will be happy to talk about it if you have questions. There's nothing wrong with taking them because depression is an illness that can be treated. If it's just a situational slump of sadness or boredom, then changing scenery and finding something fun to do can be the solution. Good luck!
~Cami, I mean Abby
Oooo, I really like that idea of writing out your feelings. I have done that once or twice before (and should probably do it more often) and it really helped to define what the problem was and how to reach a solution. Goals are also a really good idea. And not just a goal to have a cleaner house, but something more personal that allows to you have pride in yourself and what you accomplished.
P.S. I love that goofball. He's so cute. It was fun chatting to both of you guys yesterday. :)
I think you probably should definitely come visit me. I'll throw a little dinner party for girls only, and we'll talk and vent and laugh and drink from goblets. How about it? Call/email me!
p.s. I definitely circled YES!
Hang in there Shannon. I seriously am just pulling out of being like this and had been for MONTHS. Literally. It has been really hard. It is hard to not yell or get mad or frustrated. I ended many days in tears or just so upset. I wish we lived a little closer so we could hang out together. Hang in there. I am sending you lots of love right this very second!
I have a friend too who gets like this sometimes and swears that when she looks around and serves someone else in need, she feels much better. It seriously is a friend. When I get like this I usually just cry and complain and pray, until it goes away. Luckily, I've been spared long-term CFM-ness which I used to really worry about since my dad dealt w/depression his whole ife.
Maybe give it a try? And get your hair done too :)
I bet Women's Conf. will help also :)
Hang in there. It can be very hard being a mom. I think a little pampering will give you a boost. I am a big believer of goal setting. When you set them have a reward that in more than an inner happiness. You are an awesome person and I have always looked up to you and what an amazing mom, cousin, and person.
I can relate to this, as lately my children seem to be either possessed or just crazy, and I feel some days like I'm at the end of my rope, and once my husband comes home I just want to 'check out' (and basically hide) until I have to handle it all again the next day. I think it has a lot to do with Annie starting preschool, she's been grumpier, more tired and it's not helping mine and Ellie's moods to live with a little one so moody. I remind myself that everything is temporary, that every stage only lasts for so long. I try and remember that so I don't miss out on the amazingness that is my kids right this second, and so I don't dwell too much on the screaming of a teething baby who'll be happier once this passes . . .
awww, shannon, you're too sweet. thank you for your kind FB comment! i read this and know how you feel. sometimes, you just have one of those days or weeks where you wonder how in the world you are going to get through it. luckily, you have great friends to remind you how awesome you are. i think you're beautiful...always have, and you're a great mom too! the next time im in utah, we should meet up...maybe go shopping...?? i love me some retail therapy. :D :D :D
Did you write this letter for me friend? How'd you know? ;) I have been having a hard time lately too. With physical back pain has also come the other. Not that I feel 100 percent, but I know that the thing that has helped me the most is to get on my knees (if only in spirit since my back has been out and being on my knees brings about unbearable physical pain). Drawing close to the Lord helps me remember who I am, what I am worth, and how blessed I am. It gives me courage to ride out the bumps until the road smooths out and the sun comes up again...and I know it will. Love ya Shannon!
so, I don't know if this is really you or really a friend. I seem to be a roller coaster of happy-cranky-happy-cranky. I think the happy times are when I'm a) focusing on other people and b) pursuing things that make me feel fulfilled, like projects for our home or exercising. I'm crankiest when I focus on how little progress I seem to be making on some goals or how little time I have to get things done or if Gwen is cranky. I heard a quote the other day that I keep telling myself:
If you are feeling self conscious, you are conscious of the wrong person.
Good luck. You can do it. The Lord always helps.
Dear Friend of CFM,
Did you and your friend listen to the General Relief Society Meeting? I generally feel your same way, and it was quite uplifting to me. Maybe give it a read or throw it on your iPod. I mean, tell your friend to. Here's a link: http://www.lds.org/broadcast/grsm/0,6220,285-1-41-1741,00.html
For a second I was jealous of Sister Thompson and her singleness/childlessness. I thought "Boy, if I had the time she had I'd get so much done." I envied the time she'd have to scrapbook and sew. Then I realized that my scrapbooks would be empty and my sewing projects non-existent were it not for my children and husband (however my skirt size would be smaller, and then I'd probably sew one for myself).
I'm spending my evening reading it. Hopefully tomorrow will show some improvement for all of us.
Sincerely another CFM (were you talking about me?)
One more link:
http://www.byub.org/talks/Talk.aspx?id=1251
I just listened to this the other day. Thought she said some great stuff.
Dude, I've been through months-long periods like that before. Hang in there man! It will get better, it always does. You will not spend the rest of your life feeling the way you do now, it always gets better. That is what I tell myself when I feel crappy- the feeling will pass.
So I'm a little behind on my Ensign reading and am currently reading the June issue from this year. (Better late than never, right?) But I'm so glad I'm reading it because the question and answer section has some great ideas on how to not get discouraged, to remember how important our work is, and to enjoy it. I seriously thought about ripping it out and putting it on my mirror so I could read through it every day. Your friend might glean something from it as well. If she doesn't still have the Ensign copy, she can always read it online.
I think you need a visit from your baby sister!! It's starting to get cold here... 40's and I think a fun visit before we can't see each other is just the thing!! Sisters are the perfect solution!!!
LOVE THIS POST. I think you just described alot of mothers out there! You are a crack up!!!! I just barely got my hair cut and weaved after 6 MONTHS. And the gym ... can't remember the last time I was there and it's been ages since I went on a bike ride! You are great Shannon!
Oh, and I definitly think a new outfit would do the trick. I just said to Stanford this morning, do you want to do a photo shoot with me and Maggie, and I'll go buy myself a new outfit for it! :) haha. Anything to make myself feel better! I'm glad I'm not the only one.
Post a Comment