So after being up with both my children and feeling completely overwhelmed they still were up at 7. On top of this, Weston has been having little poop accidents for the past couple days in a row. I also don't know what to do about that. He knows he's in trouble when he does it, but at the same time I don't want to freak out on him. We are considering taking a giant stride backwards and reinstating some positive reinforcement before resorting to giving him a cold hose down in the shower when he has poop accidents.
What it really boils down to is that I just feel like I am going in circles. Everyday I do the same things or try new things, but nothing changes. Nothing I do to change behaviors seems to work. I clean the house every day and an hour later it doesn't look like I've done anything. I just feel like there is no point to anything I do. I have no real purpose or direction or meaning in my day. I can't seem to be successful at anything. This feeling of hopelessness is doing nothing for my motivation and energy. I want to be Supermom, but I just can't seem to figure out how. I want to feel happy and fulfilled staying home with my kids, but I mostly feel frustrated and guilty.
Maybe I should go back to work. At least there I feel valued and can see tangible evidence that I am making a difference to someone and accomplishing something. I would appreciate any advice on Weston's sleeping issues. I'm tempted to just lock my bedroom door and see if he would get back in bed and go back to sleep or just scream outside my door. This is me, minus the smile and the ugly skirt suit.
11 comments:
I am sorry Shannon. I really dispise weeks like this. For the pooping accidents I don't know what to tell you. I tried WAY too many things and really it came down to Tanner not liking all the change and stress inour home and it didn't get better until he chose for it too (and until Chase showed up and he realized everything was going to be okay.) As far as the sleep . . . oh so not fun. I am such a big 7pm bedtime person. I just cannot handle it. My only suggestion is maybe put him to bed normal time and then just have punishments if he comes out of his room. Even locking the door if you have to at some point. I don't know. I am pretty mean about bed time. As far as waking up at night . .. I don' tknow what to tell you. Tanner still does this almost nightly, and we just let him lay on the floor by our bed or take him back to his bed. Sometimes we have to lay by him there. So, oviously I am NO help there.
It really is hard being a mom Shannon. I 100% TOTALLY agree here. Believe me I feel like we do good and bad days back and forth. Sometimes I feel like I can do and other days I seriously want to crawl in a hole. It is worth it though. Messy house and all. (I dispise picking up sometimes because I know they are just going to mess it up. EVen cleaning thebathroom and then Tanner has an accident in it. What was the point??? I guess we just have to keep at it though) I love you Shannon. Thanks for being so honest and making all of us not feel so bad for having all the same feelings too. I wish I was more help.
Bleargh!!! That's my new favorite word for how I feel on those days (or weeks). This is usually when I don't post at all on my blog. Be comforted in your misery by knowing that you're not alone. ;)
As far as advice, I think Tasha is right on the bedtime...be mean. We take away toys if they get out of bed. Since they sleep with so many it's not a huge deal, but they don't like it. Sometimes I'll take away two at a time to get my point across. I would continue the punishment in the middle of the night too. The deal is they don't get them back until they have spent a night not getting out of bed.
I have no help on the poop accidents. I've heard so many different things, you'll just have to keep trying. (I know, I'm encouraging, huh!) But I love you tons if that's any help at all.
Ugh, I'm sorry!
I'm in a similar funk with cooking for my family. I currently hate it. It's like if I make a decent/healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner my WHOLE day revolves around food and cooking and cleaning up after it and it's driving me nuts lately.
I'm meaner than Greg . . . I'm a 'lock Annie in her room and she'll learn to sleep in there' person, but he'll go cuddle her or lay by her bed 'til she falls back asleep. Unless she's sick, then I'm a 'you can stay here and cuddle in my bed' kinda Mom, and we have to break her of the habit the next week. I come down on the 'just stay in your room and sleep' side of things, just because she's SUCH a horrible sleeper and if we give her an inch, she takes a mile.
Good luck with everything!
I think you've just described every mom's frustrations with staying home! It's like that saying, "Cleaning your house when kids are at home is like shoveling your walks while it's still snowing!" It's something I struggle with daily! I can work my butt off every minute of the day and be completely exhausted because of it...and at the end of the day I have nothing to show for my hard work. It almost looks like I've just sat around doing nothing all day!
Hang in there! I have to remember that some weeks are worse than others. Hopefully things will get better soon!
Mother power!!!
All I'm gonna say is you are a total supermom, and all supermoms have their nemesis. Maybe yours is poop. Mine is public tantrums, so cheer up. :)
You can do it just stick it out. I would be stick with the bed time thing that is what you told me about naps and now Andrew goes to sleep by himself with little to no crying.
You can do it, you can do it, you can, you can!! Read your friend's Hilary and family blog. It's just young motherhood and it gets better. You are a supermom b/c it's the working mom that's the cop out. When I went to work I realized that it's the stay at home mom that is the hero. Someone has to raise your sons and do you really want it to be just anyone?? You are doing a great work. It's just at the beginning part, when it's not as fun. You're pouring the foundation and you're framing in the walls. You don't get to decorate it and buy the throw pillows yet. But the foundation and the framing it SO IMPORTANT. If you work hard now, when you do get the fun part, the walls won't be crumbling in on you and you can sit back and enjoy what you've built. There's, that's my little analogy. And remember, as Scarlett O'Hara said, "Tomorrow is another day"!! And if you get enough "another days" Weston will outgrow this stage . . . and just grow into another stage;-) I do love you, hang it there. I always said, motherhood is the hardest thing I've ever done (and I've done some pretty hard things in my life!)
I am so sorry. Not getting enough sleep can really wear on you. I just have a minute to leave a comment so I didn't read what others said - sorry if this is repetitious.
Owen was doing similar things. He didn't wake up in the middle of the night but I would put him to bed at 9:30 and he wouldn't fall asleep until 11 or so and then would be up at 6 am all cranky and difficult. I had the impression to start putting him to bed at 7:30 and I thought - what?!?? He does not act tired and has a late nap at like 4 PM sometimes. So I decided to not let him take that nap if he acted like he wanted one and put him to bed at 7 or 7:30. Right after dinner, he knows we clean up, have a bath, do scriptures and prayers, and then I read to him while he lays in bed...then it is lights out. Well...establishing a reliable routine and making bed time earlier has not made him sleep in really, but he does fall asleep within a half hour and stays asleep *sometimes* until about 7:30. He is less cranky throughout the day as well. Getting him to skip that nap can be a challenge on some days but mostly he just doesn't need one. I just make sure I plan fun things to do throughout the day to keep him alert and we usually ;) make it through alright. That has helped tremendously. With him going to bed earlier, I feel like I have more "me" time earlier in the evening and I am less likely to go to bed late.
I hope that helps. I know a little how you feel. Setting little goals and projects to do really helps me find some meaning in my days - even if they are cheesy or lame. Having something to look forward to really helps me. Right now, I am out with a hurt back and we have just been sitting around in dirty house watching TV ALL day and I hate everyday life at the moment. So...all this advice I have given I can't wait to take again myself.
I hope things look up. Once the weather warms up you can send Weston outside to wear himself out. That is another thing. Wear them out with things to do. That always helps.
Sorry this was enormously long.
When I awoke this morning, I was thinking about you! Hopefully you got some decent rest last night & are feeling a little better. Interrupted sleep always does me in.
One of my muchkins was very independent & extremely logical. I'm wondering if Weston is the same. I don't remember having "poopy" issues but if I had, I think I would have tried a very logical, non-emotional approach. Underpants are for boys & girls that use the toilet every time. Diapers (we didn't have pull-ups back in the olden days!) are for boys & girls that aren't quite ready yet. Then let him make the choice. All or nothing. With just about everything, I found the more emotional I was over something, the more this certain child felt they could push my buttons. (Bet you can't guess which child I'm referring to!) Oh - and be consistent.
I think we're all Super Moms in one way or another. Motherhood is wonderful, exhausting, frustrating, & exciting all at once. And it's not uncommon to feel unappreciated now & then, when you've put your heart & soul into such a huge project :) You're an awesome mom & you know what's important! You're just experiencing a little opposition in all things :) These feelings will pass, and so will the years! In fact, way too fast. I wish so much I could have just a few hours with my little ones again...the time I spent with them is what we both remember ~ not the messy house or the often substandard meals :)
Hang in there & know that your ARE loved and appreciated!
im sorry to hear youre so frustrated. if it makes you feel any better, i think your boys and your family are the cutest so im sure youre doing lots of things right. you're a supermom in my book. :)
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