Thank you everyone for your love and support and advice! I know I'm not the only one to struggle with these feelings, and that really does help. Talia and I both had a better night last night. I'm feeling a little more rested and capable today. I have a visit with a good friend planned for this afternoon. She always cheers me up, so that will be fun. And bonus, her husband is a chiropractor, so I am going to see if he will adjust me too. I have been getting headaches a lot which doesn't help me deal with my life.
My mom bought a plane ticket to come visit me in February too. It's nice to have that to look forward to. I guess if you whine and cry and have a mental breakdown you get a visit from your mom (in case you were trying to figure out how to get your mother to come visit you). :) No, but really, having my mom around makes me feel like there is someone to take care of me instead of me taking care of everyone. I can't wait for her to come!
Ian had to work late last night, so we didn't get as much time to talk as I would have liked, but I did get the ok from him to deal with this however I think will be best. I've always felt like I'm a little bit of a crazy person (who doesn't sometimes?), but I think I am going to find a therapist to talk to. I'm hoping that a few sessions will help me understand and deal with this better. My sister pointed out that a therapist might also be able to give me some good tools to help me cope.
I also want to buy an elliptical machine for my house. I know that sounds weird, but I feel tons better when I exercise. However, the logistics of getting to the gym with 3 kids at home are an obstacle. I really like the idea of being able to hop on there and get some endorphins going whenever I have a free 20 or 30 minutes.
Finally I am going to try to be more specific and open about the things I need from my counselors in my YW presidency. Tonight for our activity we are going to plan the mutual activities until summer. I'm hoping that will help me feel more prepared and less like I'm constantly scrambling around to plan and execute mutual nights. Also that means if I need to step away for a little bit there will be a plan in place for someone else to take over.
Today my head is above water. Hopefully I'll learn to keep it there.
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12 comments:
Good for you to get help. I think we all need it.
We have an ICON warehouse/outlet near our house where they sell really cheap Nordic Track, Reebok, and other brand name exercise equipment. If you want to look for an elliptical up here while you're here next week we can go see what they have.
There is also a Lofthouse cookie outlet where you can get boxes of ten for a dollar---but maybe that would be counter-productive :)
so great! moms are the best. i am so glad she is coming.
and i am excited about you getting an elliptical. i love ellipticals. they are my go-to machine when i work out. i think it will be a great investment. :)
glad you are feeling better today.
Life is always better when there is a plan in place. :) I'm so glad we got to chat last night too! Thank you also for being honest in describing how you are feeling and not taking down the post. You are brave and a great example for me (even in the midst of trials). I love you tons!
try Craigslist. They've got great, cheap exercise equipment on there most of the time. Of course, not the latest models or the ones with top reviews, but great deals.
Good for you for finding things to help solve your dilemma. The therapist is a great idea. I hope you find someone great who will help. I also know for a fact that there are quite a few elliptical machines on ksl. I'm not to the point where I'm going to buy one yet, but I went out to look to see what was there. Exercise/endorphins will definitely help you feel better. I think relying on your counselors in YW is a wonderful idea too. I'm horrible at delegating, but it is wonderful. Good luck!
Hey Shannon. I don't keep up on blogs very well I just got caught up on your cute little family. Congrats on the new baby! She is a little cutie. Sorry to hear you are feeling crappy. I don't know how it feels to deal with 3 kids but I do know how it feels to be depressed!
My tips would be to see a counselor. (My OB's clinic had one in house that specialized in post pardom and that helped me so much!)
Also don't be afraid to go on meds if you need them. There are quite a few that you can be on while nursing. It also helped me to remember that taking care of myself would help me take care of my baby.
And thirdly...its January! the wost month for depression in general. I have SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and I do light therapy in the mornings. It also helps your body to level out when your sleeping is screwed up. Its pricey but it works well for me so it may be worth a try. Here is the link for the one I have.
http://www.costco.com/Browse/Product.aspx?Prodid=11485608&search=light+therapy&Mo=2&cm_re=1_en-_-Top_Left_Nav-_-Top_search&lang=en-US&Nr=P_CatalogName:BC&Sp=S&N=5000043&whse=BC&Dx=mode+matchallpartial&Ntk=Text_Search&Dr=P_CatalogName:BC&Ne=4000000&D=light+therapy&Ntt=light+therapy&No=1&Ntx=mode+matchallpartial&Nty=1&topnav=&s=1
Hang in there. You'll feel better soon and it always helps to have mom! :) Let me know if you have questions. thatssewfabulous@gmail.com
I'm glad your day is better today :) I wanted to comment yesterday but read that you were already given all the advice I could come up with plus lots more. But I did like the don't feel guilty or be too hard on yourself advice.
How fun that your mom is coming! Thats for sure something to look forward to.
I think the exercise machine is a great idea. I'm going to start up at the gym again this week and work out for the first time in...? I'm excited.
I agree with Joy- it's good to have a plan. And also things to look forward to :)
Reading this makes me so happy for you! I'm glad you're figuring out ways to deal with all of this. I guess I didn't realize that you were YW President on top of everything else! That is SO MUCH! It takes a ton of brain power alone, (not to mention attending all the meetings/activities), to handle! You are going to make it through this with flying colors! :)
I feel your pain! I didn't have postpartum depression but after I stopped nursing my 4th baby I had bouts of depression every month. It took me a year and a half to get help. I wish I would've gotten help sooner! Turns out my hormones were out of wack and I was experiencing PMDD. I found a naturopath and I'm taking natural meds to keep me thinking clearly and emotionally stable. So I know how feelings of depression, inadequacy and frustration can make life extremely difficult. I'm so glad you're going to see a therapist and get a visit from your mom! Both will be so helpful. And getting an elliptical is a great idea! I have to exercise regularly also to keep myself emotionally healthy. Those endorphins are the best happy pill ever! Sounds like you're on the right track for getting the help you need to get through this hard time. Hope you start feeling better soon :)
Glad to hear that you're doing better today. I've seen a therapist a couple of different times (once through LDS Services, don't know if you had anyone in mind but it was a good option for me). It's helped me to get over a few humps and find ways of coping with the crazy after a few visits. I'm glad your mom is going to visit you too--that's one of my main coping skills: having something to look forward to.
It sounds like getting your feelings out there really helped you sort things out. You are doing the right things.
Well, you know we are pro therapy. I hope it does help you and come away feeling like you can handle things. At least it will be someone to talk it through with too. You are amazing Shannon. You really are. It is a lot you are doing. And seriously, 3 kids is a lot and a lot of challenges. I cannot even tell you how hard it was for me. I did regret having a 3rd and even want more kids. But, it was just hard. Harder then I ever imagined. You are awesome. Love you. And I am glad your mom is coming. That is seriously something fabulous to look forward to.
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